when the smoke clears

Mrs Hirschman and I regularly have what we like to call "Bitch 'n wine @ 9" on Friday nights, after she and I are done our shifts at the hotel. This Friday was no exception, nor was Saturday... Saturday, being a much more aggravating evening than Friday, was a test, of skills, of temperament, and of grace. I'd like to think I passed this test, but I'm sure if anyone did a poll, I'd come out short, BUT... well, you can't change whats passed, right?
allow me to explain....
Our "book" (reservations) is generally light at 4 pm on a Fri/Sat night. By 5 pm, the Hotel is booked solid, until at least 7:30. We have a modest 21 tables, 4 waitress' and 4 sections of seating, with smoking only being available at the bar. We fill up fast and if you have no reservation, odds are good you are either going to wait or leave. Saturday was no exception to this rule. My servers come in at a staggered pace, with the "late girl" coming in the door at exactly 5pm. My job is to keep the tables seated and turned as quickly as possible, without unduly burdening any of my 4 servers and 2 bus brats (divide 21 tables by 4 servers, it aint rocket science). I don't TRY to double seat my girls, unless its a direct request by the customer (requesting specific server). I only double sat ONE girl on Saturday night, and she was never in the weeds for an instant. On the other hand, "Barbie", who didn't come in until 5:10 pm, was very PO'd with me. Why? how would I know? that would require her to bitch TO ME as opposed to bitching to the kitchen, where nothing will get rectified quietly. Barbie was in the weeds when I overheard a comment that I double sat her, which I did NOT do, but I was directly ordered to make sure Barbie's "tops" (customer count) were not less than anyone Else's. She comes in late and leaves early, how am I supposed to keep her #'s as high as the girls who were in 2 hours earlier? BY FAVORITISM! (not mine, I assure you). recently, Barbie hasn't been turning tables as well as the other servers. Here's what gets me.... I get drink orders for the clients when I seat them, I put the order in with Mrs Hirschman and I deliver said drinks all before the server gets there to the table to introduce herself. Barbie had 4 tables,and was for some reason absolutely flustered. Why? I have no idea. They (the servers) tip me NOTHING, but I don't ask them to either, and only one of those girls (NOT Barbie) has ever offered me a tip, and she worked so hard that night, I gave it back to her. Back to Barbie.... Now I have great capacity for compassion, and Barbie has had a wretched year, including the loss of her very young husband a few months back. She has two young kids and a history that is cloudy at best, but she is TRYING to make her life better, and it shows, to those of us that know the back story. but she brings a whole new meaning to moody. I didn't snap. I held my tongue.
Mrs H and I both let out a scream when we finally got in her car, very stress relieving, and the two drinks we had after that worked even better.
Mrs H and I both enjoy our jobs, as much as we might bitch about parts of them, on the whole, we really LIKE the job (s). Mrs H and I both feel that we are not part of "the family", which is most likely why we hit it off when Mrs H started there, aside from the other similarities (like we've both been out of the state more than once)...even though she was told to "not get attached because she's leaving" (meaning ME... oddly, I'm still there 8 months later).

BIG CHEESE, we like you, and like working FOR YOU, despite your jackassed approach to management. all we need is a little clarity....when the smoke clears.....